The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Found the puke drawer
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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