I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
