Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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