Cold hands, warm shart.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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