She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
