To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
