I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
