hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
My life is pants optional.
Randomize