her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
