i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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