I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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