(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
