It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
