Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
sex in a hospital.. check
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
