the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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