even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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