My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
barbara walters just said penis...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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