You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Randomize
