I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
