Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Boobs are out for the taking
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
