i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
