just come out here and I will go home with you...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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