we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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