so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
