$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
they're like a gay fantastic four
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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