OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We don't watch enough power rangers
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Sex in the backyard? Check.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
