I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
