Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
