sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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