he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
