I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
