My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
