if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
