Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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