On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
