No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
