I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
