on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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