Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I believe in your delicious
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
