New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
