i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
