She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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