Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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