dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
