im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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