He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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