I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
