I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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