It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
