why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
