you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
